Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
