check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
