cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize