Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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