It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The Olympian is in my bed
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
