Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
