oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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