If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
