Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
