Dual....:-)
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
