Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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