thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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