I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
