3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I am midnight drunk by noon
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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