I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Lo siento on account of my penis...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize