Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
