I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
