Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
