My brain says no but my pants say off.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
