I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
