if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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