Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
