I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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