i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
