Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
