he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
