lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
