Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
