Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
