Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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