Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
