Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
