how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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