she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
