So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
God I need to hump something, right now.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
