It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
