someone threw a dead crab at me
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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