so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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