It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My life is pants optional.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
