it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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