so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
