Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
