theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
