You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
