arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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