we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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