the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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