Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
