Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
