Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
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It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
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do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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