Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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