So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
