the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
