what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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