BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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