I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
