my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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