The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
