dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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