Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
