john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
