im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
We need to rekindle our bromance
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
