Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
